By Dan Buffo
Once upon a time, a small child lived in a white house with her parents and a cat. Sarah thought having her own room was neat, and she loved her cat. And sometimes, she thought that the adults, including her parents, took advantage of her.
Sarah saw them get what they wanted simply because they were bigger. Once she felt very hurt and angry. It was unbearable, and the adults were no help. She wished for an adult on her side; one to make them do what she thought was fair. But there was no one to help.
Nevertheless, she was determined to survive, and she did. Sarah imagined a strong door of oak planks and iron locks, like the ones in a castle. She stuffed the hurt and anger deep into the part of herself behind the door, locking it away, as if it were some frightful boogieman. She used the worst of her pain to paint a terrible warning on the door lest she wander into this frightful, helpless place again. Then she left, never went back, and pretended it had never happened.
This worked, but soon after she was hurt again. This time she just quickly locked that boogieman up with the first one, and survived. As she grew up, Sarah developed and refined this method for defending herself from painful emotions. Sometimes she used that first door, and sometimes she invented new doors. She forgot how many doors there were, and how many boogiemen she had stuffed behind each one. Some doors were used for only one kind of emotion, while others held a variety of scary, hurtful boogiemen.
As an adult, Sarah continued to react toward painful emotions in this helpless way. She did not use the power of her adult, which she had so desired as a child. She felt that something was wrong, but whenever she got close to those doors, she noticed the pain of her helplessness, anger, and hurt that she had left herself as a warning- and so did not investigate her distress.
Sarah avoided the doors. For example, whenever her husband expressed anger, she did not respond as an adult. Instead, she felt as if the boogieman named “Abandonment” had escaped. She quickly locked him up again and did not tell her husband about her trouble. Sarah did not heal with him or with herself. And there were other side effects…
Each boogieman (emotional charge) was actually her very Life Force, frozen “behind a door” somewhere within her energy field. The more energy she locked away, the more awareness she lost. Eventually her awareness was reduced to the level of reacting without thinking, every time she felt threatened by unwanted emotions. As more and more of her life force became locked within these blocks, Sarah forgot herself and lost control of her defensive habit.
Keeping this going also meant pretending the doors were not there. Sarah had to withdraw her attention and awareness from a portion of her own energy field (aura). She stopped using that part and did not even notice it after awhile. Sarah came to be out of touch with much of her body, mind, and heart.
Finally, many of the doors and much of the imprisoned life force was located in that part of her energy field known as the second chakra; the one which she could have used to support the creation of her life, including the expression of healthy emotions, creativity and sexual pleasure. She didn’t use it for that because she had never really learned how. She had lost her awareness of these to the boogiemen!
As a result, despite her best efforts, her life lacked fulfillment in many areas including sexuality, abundance, and relationship. She was always feeling like she didn’t have the energy to manifest what she wanted. And without energy, how could she return this habit to awareness?
Discussion of the Fairy tale
I have met many people who identify with this tale. Their boogiemen are not limited to the second chakra. They suffer discomfort of spirit, mind, emotions, or body, for want of the Life Force frozen throughout their energy system. They have forgotten their boogiemen too. I notice that when they get energetic and emotional support, and regain much-needed awareness, they often heal themselves.
Energy work can play a crucial part in this type of healing because the more Life force you receive into your energy system, the more alive you are; the more consciousness you can reflect through your energy field as awareness.
During a session, I often notice the recipient’s awareness increase as Life force increases within the energy field. This is the key to how the Life force provided by the energy healer can unblock stored emotions and lead to lasting healing. With the healer’s support, the client can apply this awareness to new insight. The client can choose to claim the power of her adult and change successful, but outdated childhood survival strategies. She can choose to stop blocking information from her field, thus restoring perception. Great personal growth and integration are possible with the increased awareness and improved perception brought by receiving more energy into the aura.
The healer can encourage the recipient to reclaim the frozen Life Force. Once reclaimed, it is instantly available. Once the Inner Child is empowered, when she opens the door, she will notice that the boogieman is not so scary. That is, she is no longer so helpless. The inner child will no longer want or need to block the emotional charge. And once she realizes that she has the power of choice, she will not always choose to keep such negative emotions locked so close within body. Life Force then floods the blocked portion of the energy field, creating a great feeling of relaxed nurturance, and occasionally, a few tears of relief.
Once the inner child becomes aware of this process she becomes willing to seek out the doors and face the boogiemen because she can get the healing she wants. To do this she needs a few things. First, she needs to be safe when she opens the door. This can be done with the help of her adult self, who will hold her hand and anchor her to the present moment of safety; and the help of a healer to provide the energy and coaching needed to regain awareness.
Even after the child has released the emotional charge, the door remains. What will happen the next time Sarah feels strong unwanted emotions? Will she change the habit and retain the power to choose her thoughts and emotions? Or will the inner child panic, and stuff a new boogieman behind the old door?
At first, out of habit, a few mistakes will be made. Eventually, she becomes aware of the habitual reaction as it happens. Then, she will become aware earlier and earlier in the cycle. Finally, she will become aware of her habit as soon as it is initiated, stop the reaction and make a conscious choice instead. Clients often report the block, and the door, (the habit), gone within a few weeks.
Copyright, Dan Buffo, May 2017, all rights reserved.